Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Enjoy the penises
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
