OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
