whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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