You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
