It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
