Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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