I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
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