I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I still have a little drunk in my system
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
