That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize
