whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
