It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Randomize
