Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Randomize
