Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
