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You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
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