Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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