**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
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Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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