All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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