Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize