that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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