it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
i wish my penis had a tongue
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
