the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
