as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
