butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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