dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
