she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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