shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
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