You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
