My first STD was from a foam party
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Randomize
