you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
