she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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