so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
