wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
