i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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