Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Randomize