forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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