You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Randomize
