just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
