Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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