Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
