She is in my trunk
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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