They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Randomize
