I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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