So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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