i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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