I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
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