So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
