If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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