You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
