I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Randomize
