Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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