I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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