Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
