Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
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