whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
