just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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