i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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