he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
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Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
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The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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