Already got asked if we're dating
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
