that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
