i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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