you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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