dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
