Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
