I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
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