So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
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