Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
