Buhtt sex?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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