Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Randomize
